the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
