It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
