is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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