Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
