So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
