I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
