I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
