He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
