She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
