Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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