My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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