You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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