You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
