ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
