Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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