i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
