This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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