I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
