we made out on top of his cat.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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