I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
