Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize