? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize