i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
NoShamevember. You game?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
