Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
