The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
