We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
