his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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