wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
