we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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