I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
