brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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