They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
