I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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