White coat. Heels.
Jerry, you need to find god
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
