thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
