I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just had sex on a roof
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
