You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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