did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
