Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
