She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think my mom watched the whole time
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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