Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
