i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize