So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
