Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize