For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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