my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
