So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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