i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize