Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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