So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
