I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
