I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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