The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
