32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We need to get me chipped asap
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
