i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
