Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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