I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
