She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
